barack obama rode a cooler bike?

though the last one had a really sweet (though ugly colored) custom serotta, and that didn’t turn out so well for him. or us, for that matter.

last night at 4am (almost on the dot), mia shoved/yelled me awake to hear some incredibly loud clunking noises down the interior stairs of our building, followed by other assorted noises, none of which sounded like noises you want to hear at 4am while you’re in a deep naked sleep.

i bounded out of bed, crept across the creaky hardwood floors, made it to the kitchen where i had to decide between a cleaver and an 8″ wusthof chef’s knife. i opted for the chef’s knife. i looked through the peep hole in the front door, then tip-toed to the front windows. as i was standing there in fight-to-the-death battle position my only weapon being the choosiest cook’s choice of cutlery with the adrenaline slowly wearing off, i thought of my favorite line from the untouchables: just like a wop to bring a knife to a gunfight.

i stood there for hourlong minutes and nothing. i eventually returned to the warmth of bed and reported that i hadn’t seen a thing. in the clear light of day, we’re thinking it was one of the neighbors doing something. i love 4am craziness, naked and knife-wielding like some sort of yuppie braveheart.

not only is it expensive, it’s turning people into shit drivers. i think that since gas has hit $4, i’ve had more close calls than i had in the entire year when gas was sitting in the mid-$3 range. fewer cars, more room to speed? drivers furious around cyclists who are paying nothing to get where they’re going (while occupying the non-oil burning hyper-smug moral highground)?

i dunno, i don’t think there’s a causation argument here, unless you are comfortable making correlation always being equal to causation arguments. i am. because otherwise you gotta do science and fuck that.

now that i’m pretty devoted to surfing, i tend to read a lot about shark attacks. this isn’t a good idea. i don’t care. when sharks attack people in places where we’ve surfed or when the attacks are particularly awful, i send out articles to the friends i normally surf with. so when we were looking for a name for the beach-with-no-name today, i suggested ’shark pit’ thinking that it if we started calling it that and it spread, it might keep crowds at bay.

the jetty was packed but the shark pit was empty (it’s working already!), so we decided to surf it. as we were walking down to the beach, the water got really dark and choppy and looked, you know, like where sharks would swim. then as we were trying to find a good place to start the day’s surf session, we spotted a giant dead sea lion (the shape of which is remarkably similar to the shape of my board). though it probably died of natural causes, it’s still going to lend credence to the shark pit legend.

about an hour and a half in, we spotted something long and sleek swimming through the water. now i was questioning whether or not ’shark pit’ was tempting fate, but it was just another sea lion looking for his dead buddy. he popped his head up, gave us a quizzical look, and swam away. we didn’t see him again, probably because he became another victim of the shark pit.

a few weeks ago, against committee orders, i made a contentious impulse purchase of the queen mother of all juicers, which has darkened a corner of our kitchen counter and drawn stares of rage and unlovely comments from my better jewish half. i thought that this rage against the juicer was permanent, but then came soft-serve banana. mia took one bite, looked at me and said, ‘you might have just redeemed this purchase.’ it’s that good.

recipe:
frozen bananas (pre-peeled)
raw cacao (or regular cocoa powder)
raw dark agave syrup

with the blank in place, feed the bananas to the juicer, which will play-doh-fun-factory them into an awesome-textured cream. whip in the chocolate until brownish; whip in the agave until sweet. can be refrozen. next attempt: minty vanilla.

last sunday morning, i woke up with this mysteriously achieved cut across the bridge of my nose that made me look like someone (the cat?) punched me with some amount of force. it hasn’t healed yet. this weekend, pc was in town and we went down to the western bridge gallery. there was a bouncy castle installation. we went in and jumped around. i had this awesome idea to attempt a back flip, which led to me landing on my head (sucked) and then kneeing myself in the eye (double sucked). insult to injury: pc was taking video while the jumping around was happening.

there’s something awesome about receiving a black eye for conceptual art, there’s something less awesome about being taunted for it at work on monday morning.

while i’m face-up on the table, i usually stare at the ceiling as they’re putting needles into and taking needles out of me. today i looked down while the needles were on their way out and i’m not sure that i should have because good. lord. jesus. the ones in my i.t. band were sunk about two inches deep.

in a mild panic, i looked up at the acupuncturist and said, ‘dude, please tell me that the needle in my forehead isn’t in that far.’ he said it wasn’t. i don’t know if he was lying.

against naturopath’s orders, i ran 3.2 miles today. they weren’t fast, but they were pain-free. and now comes the stretching and the heat/ice. and then the beet juice. i’m so psyched. pain-free! i’m pretty sure that i’m not cured yet, but i’m definitely on my way.

and spending some time with her little brother in the magic kingdom. because she’s gone, i’m taking full advantage of dude time: catching up on movies i’ve never seen (the manchurian candidate was awesome), buying the queen mother of all juicers (used on craigslist), eating cilantro (she has that thing that makes cilantro taste like soap), going surfing up in the strait, and today i headed over to the range to fire off a few rounds on the rented ar-15 assault rifle.

it’s a fine weapon. light, accurate at 50′, easy to shoot. however, it’s expensive to rent, so i’m not sure i’ll be getting it again.

i got stuck and cupped today. my knee hurt beforehand but after it felt amazing. if they didn’t tell me to wait another week (two more treatments) before running, i’m pretty sure i’d be running both days this weekend. those naturopaths and student naturopaths at the bastyr clinic are super-good.

the acupuncture had much less ache than last time, which i think is supposed to be good. the cupping was another story. i’d never been cupped before. it kind of hurt. i guess the story is that it sucks all the stagnant blocking blood out of where it isn’t supposed to be and up toward the skin where it can easily be washed away. i’m drinking a lot of water.

this is what it looks like eight hours later. the bruising is gonna be around for a few days, i reckon.

today was my first acupuncture appointment for this knee issue. i’m not exactly sure what the needle they put in the middle of my forehead was for. maybe they’re treating something else, too? i don’t know how this works. the needles in my hands were fine. ears hurt. the ones where they think the source of the problem is (a few inches north of my left ankle)? good. lord. jesus. when he put his finger where he was going to put the pin, i knew it was going to hurt. and hurt it did, like a really intense dull ache. though it also felt immobile. it didn’t feel like a leg anymore; it felt like wood with a nail in it.

in addition to the flax oil, vegan glucosamine (regular is made from shellfish), weekly cold-laser treatments, extra post-yoga stretching, hot/cold compresses, and rest, i’ll be adding twice-weekly acupuncture.

on the drive home, i noticed that i didn’t have any pain when shifting gears. is it possible that all of this is happening because of the clutch pedal in my car? i’m going to feel really lame if it is.

You’re being watched: Despite being observed by CCTV cameras, elusive grafitti artist Baksy managed to create his latest - and biggest - work to date under the cover of darkness

word up. all the cctv cameras, and pervasive warnings of cctv cameras, stick out in my mind from my trip to the uk. they are everywhere, and i feel like i can say that without exaggeration. it was enough to make someone who only jokes about wearing a tinfoil hat actually wear a tinfoil hat. i’m not sure who thought this cctv thing was a good idea because it clearly sucks. ‘

england prevails.

via the daily mail via nymag vulture

i first saw the plane on the train from my office window the other day and became giddy with excitement. there’s something about a plane on a train, the same way there would probably be something about a hare on a tortoise, if that ever happened.

my ride this morning took me through the train yards, where i spotted them again. but this time i had (a shitty blackberry) camera with which to document this love story.

a chance encounter on a train. a weekend layover in seattle before they had to get back to work on monday morning.

not even a small stenciled warning could keep them apart.

it’s definitely not as shiny as the american version, but it’ll do. the paper airplane to nowhere (the future?) is a nice touch.

hoping to keep some of my scottish bike fitness, i got up a little earlier than usual this morning to do a longer ride on my way to work. i had that self-satisfied up-early-and-exercising feeling, which started dissipating when it started raining and then was completely obliterated when i double-flatted within a mile. both tires. one was a very slow leak and the other was leaking quickly. i turned around and went home so that i could run to work instead (i was too late for the bus).

i have a new running style that doesn’t hurt my knee quite as much but it still hurts some. and it’s ugly, oh man is it ever ugly: limpy, left leg a little off to the side. it’s not sustainable. i’m seeing a naturopath about it tomorrow.

to recap: flats, rain, running pain.

and then something happened that made me forget all of it. about a block from work, an old broken asian dude looked me in the eye, gave me a gap-toothed grin, and then whipped out his junk and pissed all over a pole outside of the big asian supermarket in front of a crowd of people.

i missed running so much. it’s not just the endorphins, it’s also the waking dream feeling of flying through shit like that. while you can still see the guy pissing when you’re on the bus, you don’t get to really connect with him.