yesterday i ran up mt si: 4000′ of gain over 4 miles and then back down the same way. the up was a pretty solid 57min that i ran smartly, i didn’t push too hard. the down was a very fun and fast 30min — moderately technical, pretty crowded. running down that mountain is the closest i’ll ever get to feeling self-sustained flight and i treat every leap like i might take off. bounding over rocks and roots, hurdling dog leashes, brushing against the side of the mountain when whipping around people on their way up who i didn’t see or who didn’t see me. earbuds plugged into my head, shuffle turned up loud drowning out the comments from hikers who are understandably not that into a borderline out-of-control trail runner barreling towards them. getting down mostly unscathed and stuffing my face with bananas and grapefruit and letting the sweat evaporate, leaving salt on my neck.

compared to yesterday, today’s run felt violent and empty. this happens to me from time to time. i’ll go through phases where i run past trees and let the branches lash whatever body part they happen to be near: face, neck, arms, legs. and i won’t think about it. i run faster and faster but it won’t feel fast enough and i’ll be unable to get enough oxygen into my lungs. i’ll get home and eat and eat and eat and not feel sated. it feels like a fight might feel when you drop the other guy with one punch and walk away clean — you’re psyched that you don’t need stitches but that expected punch to your face that never materialized leaves an empty feeling that just sucks. a lot. there’s something going on and i don’t think it’s physical. i’ll need to step back from it, maybe. i’ll let you know what i come up with.

This entry was posted on Sunday, May 13th, 2007 at 4:37 pm and is filed under running away. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.